Friday, November 11, 2011

Reflecting on Building Relationships

Forming and maintaining healthy relationships have had a positive impact on my life because I know I have a support system that will keep me grounded and in some instances will serve as an escape whatever problems I may face in my life. As I have gotten older and matured, I have experienced the loss of relationships with family and friends which did hurt me deeply, but I have realized that I cannot make excuses for other peoples behaviors and to just let those relationships go if they become over baring and emotionally draining. However, I have learned that healthy relationships consist of trust, honesty, respect, and communication and when one of those components are missing, the relationship can be subjected to hardship.

There are several people in my life with whom I currently have positive relationships with. And I am blessed to have a partnership with my significant other  with whom has been a blessing in my life in more ways than one. Below is a list of people with whom I have relationships with:

Parents- I have a great relationship with my parents that began when I was in my mother womb; I can rely on my parents for anything and I know that they would go to the ends of the world to ensure the happiness of my son and myself. My mother is the type of women who taught to be independent, while my father spoiled me, but they both taught me to be humble and appreciative for all of my blessings.  To be honest, I always had a close relationship with my parents but our relationship strengthened even more after I had my son and after they moved to North Carolina.

Cousin- Although I have a biological half sister with whom I grew up with, I have an extremely close relationship with my older cousin Ceadina whom I have always admired and looked up to; she has truly set the bar high for me to be all that I can be. I value my relationship with her because she tells me when I am right or wrong, listens to me vent, and always puts things in perspective for me.

Son- I have a great relationship with my 13yr old son whom is my motivation to go this far in my academic career; having my son pushed me into becoming self sufficient, humble, and to be a blessing to others. My son is a constant reminder of my faith, and his laughter is like music to my ears and when he gets on my last nerve I have to breathe and let him know that love is kind and patient but I also need to mold him into a young man; and I love every minute of being his mom! I am blessed to have the type of relationship with my son where he can talk to me about anything, he keeps me informed of all of the latest music and slang; he is defiantly keeping me young at heart!

Boyfriend/Man- I am blessed to have a healthy relationship/partnership with my boyfriend (although I feel I’m too old to say “boy friend lol”). God has truly blessed me with a man whom shares the same values and interest as me and whom treats me like a queen. Our relationship is strong and continues to strengthen because we have a friendship and we respect and trust each other. I am happy to say that we have our individual lives and our life together.  We maintain our relationship by traveling, having quiet time, staying in constant communication via phone, text, and ect… But the key to maintaining a healthy relationship is communication, trust, and listening. After being in bad relationships in the past, I have learned to appreciate the small things my man does for me and as a result I want to give him so much more. I am at the age where I don’t have time for games and the relationships that I form I value and are dear to me, but having a partnership with a man whom constantly encourages me to do better, models good parenting, consistent with the way he treats me has also taught me to take pleasure in the simple things in life that I used to take for granted. I am truly happy in my relationship with him and I thank God everyday for blessing me to have him in my life!!

One challenge to maintaining a healthy partnership  is when you have people whom have negative opinions on your relationship  or simply want what you have can be difficult. But my partner and I are very private and we keep our relationship between us, and more importantly we have a friendship and I treat him the way I want him to treat me.

Girlfriends- I don't have too many girl friends so I value those relationships that I do have and I have gown to learn that each girlfriend I have serves a purpose. For example, I know what friend to call if I want to go out and just have a good care free time, or what friend to call if I need professional advise. One challenge having girlfriends is when they don't understand that your family and partner takes up a lot of your time and you can not talk on the phone the way you used to or hang out as late as you used to. But I love spending time with my two closest friends but it becomes difficult for me because my friends don't get a long with each other.
The relationships that I have with my family, friends and partner has a positive impact on my work as an effective early childhood professional because my loved ones always give me words of encouragement which motivates me to want extend myself to my parents/families when they are faced with adversity. For example, I give my personal cell phone number out to those families whom face trying times i.e., child has medical conditions, domestic issues and ect… My goal is to be a resource for my families and to do all that I can to provide their child(ren) with the necessary resources so that they have a successful school year. One thing that I have noticed about me is the happier I am in my personal relationships, the happier I am when I enter the classroom. However, I have learned that once I open my classroom door, I have to leave all of my personal issues at the door. My philosophy is a happy teacher makes a happy classroom/students.
Relationships are not easy and requires a lot of work, nurturing, patience and time.  


My 13yr old son


  1. I used to have a tight close knit relationship with my cousin, but we are not as close as we used to be, I have two friends in this world besides my husband that I hold dear to my heart. They are people who I can depend on and who are there for me and who love me . Relationships are so important and they can change a person's life forever.

  2. You have a great philosophy! I try to pass that on to the teachers in my center. Sometimes, it's hard to leave the drama at the door but I find that once I walk into the building and see all those beautiful trusting faces something comes over me.

  3. Hi Nicky

    My counsin and I have also always had a tight relationship. When the one is down the other has a sixth sense that something is wrong. That I believe truely build relationship is not all the good memories but getting through the hard stuff together. She has always been a great support

  4. Hi Nicky...there will always be challenges to maintaining relationships. You are right by saying there are people who want to see you fail because they want what you have. Good for you for having the positive outlook that you do.

  5. Hey Nicky,

    I have experienced some falling out with people in my lifetime, as well. This year, I lost a close friend of my mines due to miss communication. It was hard having to go without somebody I thought was my best friend, but I manage to move on and let go of the past. Some friendships are not meant to be, and I have grown to understand that now. Just like my father always says, “You have seasonal friends and friends that last forever.”